You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
