Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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