thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
