Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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