Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
