bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
