your room smells of hookers.
And success
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
