i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
don't judge my taste in strippers
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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