from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
