he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
