The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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