I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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