we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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