they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
