I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dick very happy bro
All the doctor said was why
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
