I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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