your thong is hanging out like whoa
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
