I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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