I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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