chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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