$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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