yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
