Will you blow on my dice?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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