I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We left the knife in your bed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
