The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
