We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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