there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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