I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
