Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
