hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
