Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
