..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
