he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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