She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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