Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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