Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
