I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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