Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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