I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
