Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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