bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
