Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize