The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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