i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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