Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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