Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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