i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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