we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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