There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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