Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
