when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
