Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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