I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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