handjob tips. give me some.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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