Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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