Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
